Through The Mud Clearly

Let me tell you about my latest exciting adventure. It is kind of a long story and it has nothing to do with riding the bus! One morning I woke up and my arms felt like they were on fire..kinda like a severe sunburn. I kept thinking "this is not right" and after about an hour of off/on pain, I drove myself to the ER. I described my symptoms to the triage nurse and within 5 minutes they had me hooked up to an EKG. The nurse kept looking at me then looking at the machine then looking at me really strangely. I'm thinking...this is not good...first I don't have to wait 10 hours to be seen and now the nurse is looking like their might be a problem. She doesn't say anything but leads me to an ER brick..I mean bed. Gives me the fashionable backless gown and tells me she will be right back. Immediately after she goes; the vampires come in for my blood. Three arms later they finally get what they need. The nurse returns with another EKG machine. Apparently the first one wasn't working properly...I think it said I was dead or something like that. It was wrong. After the EKG was completed, she wired me to a cardiac monitor and started an IV. After a while someone came to take me for a chest x-ray then returned me to my room. Soon a Doctor came in. I described my symptoms. He said "weird". He also said it could be a heart problem and they would probably do more tests. About an hour later someone came in an said they were going to move me to another location. He said it is one step closer to going home. He moved me into the hall!! I think they needed the room. A few minutes later the ER Doc came over and said they were going to admit me and keep me overnight for observation. So they moved me to another location in the ER. Once again they hooked me up to the cardiac monitor and also put me on oxygen..somebody came along and took more blood. I was in this room for at least two hours...but it had a TV...I watched the game show network! Later, they come to move me to the observation unit. In preparation for the move they placed a defibrillator unit at the bottom of the bed. I exclaimed..gee I sure hope we don't need that! They laughed and said not to worry, they just needed a portable device to hook into while they moved me. I finally get to my room. I had been at the hospital since 6am and it is now approaching 4pm. Dinner finally showed up about 5:30 pm. I hadn't eaten all day and I was really hungry. Needless to say, the hospital food kinda tasted good...I knew I must be really sick to think that! Right about that time Rita (co-worker) came in for a visit. We chatted for a while and then a different doctor came in. He wanted to know if I had been taken in for a CAT scan. I hadn't. He said he would go find out why because he had ordered one. Rita left about 6:45. Around 7:10 Laurie and Holly (more co-workers) stop in. They stayed until about 8pm when the nurse came to take me in for the test. She drove me to the test area and parked me in the hall. It was a nice view of the door of the x-ray room. I waited there about 15 minutes then they wheeled me in for the test. Five minutes later I was back out in the hall waiting for my driver. Back to my room. Nothing to do but watch TV and listen to sick people. I finally drift off to sleep about 1am only to be awakened at 2:30 by a nurse wanting more blood samples. I could not go back to sleep, nothing on TV but infomercials and home shopping network. Finally breakfast arrives about 8:30. I figure I must be feeling better because everything has no taste. I ate it anyway. About 11am I called Jayne and told her where I was and asked her to come pick up my keys and go feed my cat. She said she would be there asap. About 20 minutes later they took me up to cardiology for an echo stress test. That is where they take an ultrasound of your heart at rest and then when stimulation is added they take another ultrasound. The technicians explained how the test would work..after the at rest test, they would inject a drug equal to six (yes six) cups of coffee and do another ultrasound. I said that it sounded scary to me and I wondered how many days and nights I would be awake! Then the cardiologist came in and asked me if I could walk on the treadmill because he really didn't like administering the caffeine shot. I opted for the treadmill! After that was over he said I needed to have an angiogram. He explained the procedure and told me I would be awake during the whole thing. AWAKE I CAN'T BE AWAKE!!!! He said it would be OK they would give me something so I would not feel a thing. Then they wheeled me off to the Cardiac Cauterization Unit. It was about this time Jayne finally caught up to me. I gave her my spare keys and instructions for Marmalade. Then I realized she really didn't need any direction about how to take care of a cat....she has several of her own!! We chatted for a while and then the nurse came in with a razor. At that time Jayne excused herself and....never mind. At 3:30 they wheeled me into the operating room. At 3:50 it was all over and I really didn't feel a thing! The cardiologist shook my hand and said my heart was just fine and I could be released in a couple of hours. They wheeled me back to my room. I was instructed to not lift my head or move my legs for at least 2 hours. That was hard, but I did it. Around 5:30 dinner was served. It is very hard to eat while laying almost completely flat and not being able to lift your head!!! Fortunately Pastor Sharon came in around that time. She held my glass so I could drink through a straw. Thanks Sharon! She also prayed with me..that was nice. I needed a ride home so Sharon said to call when I got released and someone would come and take me home. Finally around 8pm they told me all tests were negative and I was being released. Great, I said but that still doesn't explain the arm pain. The nurse said "wow that's true" and wandered off. Another nurse returned with my discharge instructions and I was set free. I called Sharon. She sent Tom and Charlotte to pick me up. Tom drove my car home. Charlotte brought me a big bowl of homemade chicken noodle soup...the best ever!! I got home and my cat spoke to me long and loud! I spent the next couple of days resting...my cat was by my side day and night. I think she missed me. My malady is still a mystery! I told you it was a long story.