Through The Mud Clearly

I had the PET Scan yesterday...fell asleep in the tube thingy! Results coming on Wednesday. I am feeling a bit apprehensive about it although I don't know why. Also met with the radiation oncologist and the physician's assistant. Really liked them both. They took the time to explain and answer questions; plus they seem to have a good sense of humor! I will be meeting with them every Monday and will have treatment 5x per week M-F. Will get my chemo schedule on Wednesday. Kind of a lot to take in, but on the plus side....they want me to eat/drink a high calorie diet! Nobody has ever said that to me before!!! LOL.

Back from the Doctor. Heard a lot of stuff; almost too overwhelming to take it all in...probably that why they gave me a huge packet of information! Took blood to test stuff that they need to test for. They are now waiting for authorizations from insurance company to do Pet Scan, insert a port, and do chemo and radiation treatments, another endoscopy and possible surgery. They hope to do the Pet scan by the end of the week and will call me with appointment time. So basically there is no new news but I do feel encouraged after the appointment. They said I look good for someone with esophageal cancer! /blood pressure was good too! God is good.

I read a very short,  very caring email this morning, It reduced me to tears...real, heartfelt tears. I don't know if it was the email that did it, the love that came through the email or just the stress of this week that caused this to happen. Or possibly the combination of the three. So its been kind of a emotional day for me. But, it also has been a good day. I talked with several coworkers and received many words of affirmation and comfort. It was good. I then spoke to a couple of people who I knew with out a doubt they would spread this news through the entire office. I did this on purpose. That was so I wouldn't have to repeat my story 500 times! So now everybody knows. Mission accomplished!
Monday I go to see the Oncologist who will do some testing, determine what stage the cancer is at and prescribe a course of treatment. The video below is the song I have chosen to for my theme song on the road.

A diagnosis of esophageal cancer really makes you stop and think. Makes me think of my former blog name "Into the Abyss" and feeling like that's where I am heading. However; I am not dwelling there. I have a God who is bigger than that! Really what I am trying to do is process everything I am feeling; which is widely varied! Hope and despair and everything in between. OK that's enough for now. I intend to blog this journey mainly because I am better at written words than spoken ones :)
But; I will be speaking too.

and another and another. Then I woke up in the recovery room. That is all I remember about the Endoscopy!!

I think I am a fairly patient person except when it comes to finding out test results! The test was done on Monday morning and I really thought I would know the results by that afternoon. No call. Tuesday. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. No call. Wednesday 8:47am the call. Doctor says: "it appears you have a mass in your stomach and I am going to schedule and appointment with a G.I. Doctor to scope your stomach and find out what this thing is." I was totally shocked by this and couldn't think of a thing to say except "what do you think doctor?" His reply: "I don't know." Very unnerving! But; even more unnerving...less that 5 minutes his scheduler called with the date and time of the appointment.  I then called the G.I. doctors office and asked what I needed to do in preparation for the appointment. She told me this was a consultation to discuss my "options" so there wasn't anything to prepare for. After I hung up I thought....DISCUSS MY OPTIONS...WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? Well, I guess I will find out August 15th!
To be continued.....

The doctor said: "hmm I am going to send you for a swallow test". He gave me a referral and I scheduled the appointment. Then; of course I went to my friend/enemy the Internet to find out more information about this test. Everyone I know who had this test told me their horror stories. For example: the taste is horrible and you will probably vomit and have to retake the test, they strap you to a table and twirl you around while taking x-rays...etc...fun! The Internet and doctors office told me it was called a barium swallow. The stuff travels down the esophagus and into the stomach. X-rays are used to track the fluid which highlight odd or unusual areas of your innards. The assistant preps me and explains how it works then....in walks a crazy looking man (in my head I am thinking its the wild man from Borneo). His hair was wild and crazy as were his mannerisms. This was the Doctor! I found it a bit disconcerting when he couldn't find a lead apron (there were 3 of them hanging up right in front of him). His assistant pointed out their location-he must have thought this was amusing because he let out a "wild man" laugh...bwhahahahahaha! Then he couldn't find the lead scarf thingy that goes around their neck. The assistant said it was in the pocket of the lead apron. Again with the laugh...bwahahahahaha! I wasn't sure if it was part of an act- of if that is how he really is. He was really nice though, and he also took the time to explain everything. The test wasn't as bad as everyone had told me and it was over in about 30 minutes.